Don't you send me to vm
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
