What did we do last night that was yellow?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
