Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
