Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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