oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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