Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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