the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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