Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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