Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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