I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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