Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
