The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize