I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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