all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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