He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You ruined the universe
Randomize