He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
