boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
