Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
