I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Life without a bra equals bliss.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
