you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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