We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
