he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
