I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
