when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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