But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
