Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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