Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
