I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
