You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
