yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize