Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
