The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
