it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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