He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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