Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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