Cold hands, warm shart.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
