Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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