We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
