So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
