brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
