is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
