i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
