Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
