Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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