I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
