Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
