so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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