so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
