i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
