Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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