she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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