Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
