tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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