If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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