went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
