I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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