what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
