Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
