Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
