I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
