If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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